


Polyamorous (The Elephant in the Room Mix)

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Based on a parody, Because this is Sam, Comment Fic, Community: fic_promptly, Couple's Privilege But I couldn't not write this, Crack, Don't Try This At Home, Even When Everything is Problematic, F/M, Family Secrets, I Love Jess Dammit, I Might Also Ship Everything, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Jess Ships Everything, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Really About People Not in the Room, Sam Isn't Drunk Really He Isn't, Secrets, This isn't awkward at all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 18:24:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12174231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Just because I have bad hair / doesn't mean that I'm polyamorous (the prompt)It's never who you want to be polyamorous who's polyamorous (not the prompt)A very exhausted author writes to this prompt probably at the wrong time of night, I'm not promising anything with this fic. ;)





	Polyamorous (The Elephant in the Room Mix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [oneill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneill/gifts).



"It's never who you want to be polyamorous who's polyamorous," Jess opines as they're walking back from a bar. She is slightly drunk and very, very beautiful. "It's, like, always that guy who wants to, like, be gross, I mean, handsy and gross, you know?"

"...Yeah. I know."

She squints at him. "Wait. Do you know? How do you know?"

"It's...a long story. Anyway, I know random guys. Hu--guys."

He's totally sober enough to not screw up this conversation. Yep. He is a conversation-not-screwing-up genius. He can do this.

"Is there something you're not telling me, Sam?" She tips a little until she's gently almost-cuddling him while they walk. "I mean, did anyone ever tell you you're really secretive?"

"I dunno, I just mean I know that type, sort of."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You do? Do you ever, like, tell them not to be a jerk? Wait, have you ever made out with one? Like did they make you? Did it get weird?"

He laughs, and the laughter makes her giggle a little too. "I've...yeah. Told them not to be a jerk. Or they were a jerk. Or both. No making out with guys like that."

"Oh, good. Does it work? Telling them?"

"No."

"Yeah, I didn't think so. Anyway, Sam, you know me, I'm just looking out for you. One of these days maybe we'll find some people."

"No sweater vests. Or leather jackets."

"Wait a sec. Am I too drunk or did you just say no leather jackets?"

"It's a long story."

She's laughing too hard and too long, but he just takes it in. This is him and Jess, on the way home from failing at a poly munch.

Well, at least they tried.

*~*~*

Meanwhile...at the munch...various voices around the table....

"Seriously, they were cute. But also they were all over each other."

"Yeah. Well. I mean, if they come back... maybe. At least they didn't have the hair, right?"

"Yeah, they didn't have the hair, but I dunno."

"He sort of had the hair."

"Did he? I don't remember now."

"Anyway if they come back... maaaaaybe. I'd think about it. I mean, she was nice."

"Yep, I'm sure that's what you're interested in, that she's nice."

"That's ... What are you implying?"

"Nothing."

"Anyway they seem like newbs."

"Probably are."

"They didn't strike me as like...bad...just..."

"I'm too drunk for this conversation. Good night."

"Yeah, you really need some sleep. Oh well, next week?"

"Same bat place, same bat channel."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm exhausted and this is ver...maybe actually just bad. I am aware that I took the song and wrote a fic where basically it proves the point. (Then I tried to fix it.) This would be a very, very, very, very, very, very bad scenario and that's the point of the thing. Also I wrote this instead of sleeping, for real, so actually, I probably just fucked it up and didn't write anything good here, but the prompt was too amazing for me not to write something. I have other non-monogamy fics that aren't steeped in crud! I really needed to be sleeping instead of writing this. I also probably ship Jess/everyone a little bit too hard.
> 
> If you want an actual Sam/Jess poly fic that isn't full of couple's privilege and such, I have a better/actual real attempt at a more balanced V crossing over with Carnivale and I also have several poly (V) Black Sails fics. Why did I write this? I'm so TIRED.


End file.
